It’s hard to ignore. It’s always there. Lately, it seems to have taken on its own individual consciousness, become a self-aware, self-determined entity. Race. The idea that we are somehow inherently, and completely separated by the hue of our skin, our culture or religion. This soon led to the idea that we are genetically predisposed to a life with or without privilege, rights or dignity allotted to others of “normal” predisposition. Then came the belief that some are “human” while others are “less than human”. Even the term, “race” implies competition or a subsequent hierarchy inherent in the human species. Is the idea of “Race” a form of consciousness? Is it something that arose of itself or something that we breathed life into? Perhaps it is both. Perhaps it is a consciousness or an aberration thereof that we have allowed to flourish. In light of recent news events perhaps its prevalence is yet another alarm bell, an awakening siren, beckoning us to evolve a consciousness that has been stagnant for a millennia. What if the day comes when we finally realize that race is an idea that we created and in the grand scheme of things really does not exist? What if we finally realized that the only race is human, and that we have been killing ourselves all along? What if we developed true empathy, which extended beyond the idea of race, culture and religion? How would the world change?


For centuries, it seems, man has found one reason or another to annihilate himself. Land, money, power, fueled all sorts of horrors for the corporeal pursuits that lead to the elevation of self and ego. Later the pursuit of money became the virtue of the centuries. Empathy, however, could never be a part of this process. If you truly saw yourself in someone else, much like you see yourself in your child’s eyes, you could not destroy their way of life. One could not kill another’s child if they too had a child, right?. How could they? Well, I guess they could if their empathy bubble only extended to their child. If I were a sociopath my respect for life would only extend to my nose. You would be no more than a walking piece of meat, one that I mastered interacting with but could kill with no emotion. Sounds psychopathic? I guess it would depend on the extent of my empathy. What if my empathy extended past my nose to my family, kids, husband, but only that far? Is everyone else a piece of meat? Ok, then, how about extending it out to everyone that looks similar to me? That would mean I only valued another’s life if they looked similar in some way  to me. Is that psychopathic, or is it only psychopathic when it extends to just me? Are there degrees of crazy?


Maybe it’s not degrees of crazy but degrees of evolution. Maybe at one time in my evolution I was only able to extend my bubble to myself. Then later to my family. Then later to those that looked similar to me. But, what’s after that? Perhaps it would extend to those that are human. Then to all entities that are consciously, (no matter the degree), aware.  Then maybe go even further, to that which does not even resemble my idea of a life form, say the planet. How would the world look to one such as me? Would I be cool, with say, a zoo? Would oil spills concern me? Could I discern between a criminal and a bikini clad 15-year-old girl? Would I rush to shoot an unarmed teenager to death if first I saw myself in him? My child in him? Would I applaud the curing of a dog with Ebola while others were dying awaiting that cure? Would I allow Ebola to be a problem at all if I had the means to prevent it?  This lack of empathy appears to play a central role in most of the planets ills. This inability to connect, to see the connection to everything passed our noses is more than a psychosis; it’s an evolutionary stumbling block.


It seems to me that all the eco systems of the world survive by relying on their components cooperation.  Each member of that system works in harmony with the next.  It is only when something comes in and dominates the resources, hoarding them from the rest of the system, that the system suffers and dies. It’s as if the eco system is aware of its existence and the species within it are innately aware of their connection. When I look at the world today I see a lack of this connection, mostly on the side of the humans. I see a planet once teaming with species suddenly in the grips of an extinction.  I see a blatant disregard for our place in the ecosystem, or maybe an unrealized place.  I see an ever-present blindness to the lives of other people by people for no other reason than “those people” sit way outside of their empathy bubble.  I see an inability to discern, based in this blindness, that leads to the death of innocent children, unarmed men, and helpless homeless people.  I see a preponderance of fear generated by the inability to see ourselves in ourselves.  I see  spiritually un-evolved man.

Consciousness evolution, I believe, is mans next evolutionary step.  In order to achieve this, however, we must first realize that we are un-evolved, making us unaware of our unified consciousness.  Race, sex, and religion are all carefully manufactured labels, giving us the illusion of separateness.  We are each other, and  we are a part of a living entity;  the planet we occupy. It is easy to see that we have not evolved in this way for thousands of years and the planet and its inhabitants have suffered greatly because of it. Our technology is evolving much more rapidly.  Perhaps it was not diverted from its evolutionary path. Some say in the future our technology will become consciously aware. I wonder what that will be like. It’s already connected.




I admit, I’m no mathematical whiz kid, or even a scientific genius, but I do have the hobby (if you could call it that) of reading and studying the theories of quantum physics.  I guess my interest stems from my need to know the truth about the reality we live in, particularly since most of my life I have not quite looked at things the way I was taught to look at them.  I have always thought, for lack of a better phrase, “outside of the box”, as it were.  For example, many scientists have said that aliens visiting our planet was an impossibility due the vast distances and amount of fuel they would have to expend to get here.  Most people agreed, but I thought of it quite differently.  Why couldn’t they travel vast distances? Perhaps they know of a way to shorten the distance, or perhaps propulsion is not their means of travel.  Maybe fuel, at least the kind we use, is not even a consideration.  Maybe they glide on gravity much like our airplanes glide on air, carrying them the vast distances and allowing them to hover like magic over our planet’s surface.  I mean, look, we live on a gigantic orb hovering in an ocean of nothing!  That, by definition, makes anything  possible, right? To say that something isn’t possible because I cannot conceive of it is an insult to my very existence.  Quantum physics for that reason fascinates me, as it opens a door to possibilities and dimensions that are not readily seen ‘inside the box’.


One particular theory is my favorite.  It’s the one involving the two slit experiment.  Yeah, I know.  Countless scientists, metaphysicians and, spiritual gurus have pondered this enigma arguing over the validity of their inferences calling them ‘pseudoscience’ or ignored spiritual epiphanies.  I make no such inferences here.  I merely offer up a laymen’s possibility, which considering that everything seems to exist as possibility, makes it a quite possible-possibility.  I mean, if the sun just hangs in nothing, then nothing should be discounted as impossibility—right?

Anyway, in the two slit experiment scientist found that a particle of matter could act as both particle and wave.  How the particle behaved seemed dependent on one thing; a conscious observer.  It seems that the conscious observer collapsed the wave into a particle, causing it to behave as such.  When not observed it behaved as a wave.  This intrigued me, because I have ideas about reality myself that alludes to this finding.  I believe that everything is in vibration.  Whether we can interact with an object it or see it depends on whether or not we are vibrating at or about the same range of the object.  We can see smoke, we can interact with it, but rarely can we feel it. We can feel wind, but not see it. We can see the rapidly vibrating molecules of water in vapor,  we can also interact with it and feel it. The degree to which we can do these things depends on our own vibration, and whether or not it resonates with the vibration of the object.  We also have many dimensions that we can and cannot see or interact with.  Perhaps they too are grounded somehow in vibration. Some say that the varying dimensions hold varying possibilities; perhaps in one dimension I am this and in  another I am that, but I exist in all, as do all possibilities. We are therefore multidimensional. If all this is true perhaps in the two slit experiment we collapse the wave by our consciousness vibration.  Whatever level or range we are vibrating at is what we see; that which is vibrating within our range of discernment. All else are possibilities that exist in other dimensions or vibratory levels.  Thus, the observer would in fact collapse the wave in his or her vibrational range or dimension.  Look away and all possibilities are present as they always have been.


What does this mean to us as lay people?  To me it means our level of consciousness, which may correspond to the rate at which it vibrates, dictates what we see.  Look out at the world, what do you see?  You see where you are. Can you discern beauty, love, or do you see something else all together.  What of the ‘wave’ of vibration?  Scientists say they have been trying to connect quantum physics with the physics of the large in a kind of unifying theory,  but this is apparently difficult to do since physics and quantum physics work by different laws.  Perhaps not.  Perhaps consciousness is a wave.  Perhaps our group consciousness is a wave moving in one direction. On closer inspection we appear as individuals with individual choices varying in possibility. Step back and look from a higher perspective and we too act as a wave, contributing to the overall movement of the whole….consciousness.  Which one of us does the observer resonate with?

Cool food for thought.  For me, quantum physics encompasses a combination of both science and spirituality.  Maybe they were never meant to be separate.  I hope more thought goes into quantum physics, unbridled thought.  I hope they are bold in their discoveries, forgoing trends and prescribed patterns of thinking.  Outside of the box, though, can be lonely at times, but I feel there is no other way to see the true reality unless your willing to step out of this limited one. What if we could change what we see by changing our consciousness?  What if what we see right now is the result of our collective consciousness?  What if our collective consciousness was manipulated? Would we be forced to see what our manipulators wanted us to see?

And Down the rabbit hole I go…


The Wink

God the Father 01Who is God, or better yet, (and even more profound), ‘what’ is He?  The other day as I sat on my deck contemplating the meaning of the present moment, I thought about my first glimpse at ‘something’ that unbeknownst to me at the time, would be the starting point of my spiritual journey in later years.  I didn’t know it then but what I experienced was a ‘wink’, a hint of things to come, things that at that time I had not even begun to contemplate.  That one moment changed the way I viewed my existence, and over the years validated my latent awe at something, which prior to that seemed so trivial.  Why I received the ‘wink’ then I am not sure, but I remember it often when I find myself caught in the drudgery of a material based existence, and frustrated with my identification with it.

I was young.  Not that I am old now, but younger at that time.  My son was maybe 3 years old and I was living in a small 2 bedroom house with my mother in the city.  Our lives were hectic.  I worked ungodly shifts at the hospital while my mom tried to make a comfortable home for me and my son.  Money wasn’t a problem since our expenses were relatively low, but time was a commodity.  Mom sometimes worked as a substitute teacher and tutor for math so she kept a lot of math materials around the house.  One day she brought home this gigantic poster of numbers; the multiplication table, starting with 1 x1 and ending with 12 x12.  The numbers were a bright orange on a black background of tiny stars.  She hung it on the wall of our computer room, which was more like an unused hallway lined with book shelves, a tiny desk, and of course a computer.  At night when I couldn’t sleep, I would go into the tiny darkened room and web surf.


One night, I got up to do my usual surfing when the computer suddenly went down, (the blue screen of death they called it), so I turned it off to reboot.  Awaiting the reboot I swung around my chair and stared up at the wall behind me.  There, in the darkness stood the bright orange numbers of the table, appearing to hover in space.  As I looked at them, I noticed immediately the pattern that emerged. The numbers complemented each other in every direction; up, down, left, right, they seemed to add up and form a pattern no matter how I looked at them.  I forgot about the computer and stared at the table in awe of the patterns and how the numbers interacted so logically.  Now, I know I had seen this many times before, but this time I saw something different.  This time I saw intelligence.  My mind shifted.

You see, the numbers weren’t really what I was looking at.  It was the “that” behind them.  The numbers themselves were not ‘things’. Sure they could apply to things; cars, apples, oranges, but they themselves were not ‘things’.  Yet, they had a pattern, a direction, and a ‘formlessness’ that I had never seen before.  Though they applied to everything, they weren’t anything.  My body went numb. Wink!

I think of that moment often, and search for it even more.  I saw something, something real, yet not a ‘thing’ at all.  Something unimaginable for me at the time, but a little closer to me now.  The labels we apply to ‘It’ may be our way of relating to ‘It’, or pointing to ‘It’ from where we are. We even try to personify ‘It’, quantify ‘It’, and attribute things to ‘It’, but what ‘It’ is still eludes us.  All I know is that ‘It’, ‘God’, ‘Consciousness’ only points the way, never describes. You cannot name, describe, or quantify that which is not a thing, yet how then can we know ‘It’?  I guess we have to look closely, step outside this material box, and recognize the wink.  Trick is, you can’t always see it  just by looking with your eyes.  The formless you intuitively glimpse, then feel, like a breeze brushing your soul.


A Nod and a Wink

Manifesting Reality

Upper and Lower Yosemite Falls

Sounded really bazaar to me at first.  How a person could manifest their reality based on thought and intention.  I’ve read from countless spiritual gurus on how this was possible, and even researched the possibility scientifically.  Quantum physics points to the fact that reality is only real if a conscious observer is present to observe it.  Could this be true?  Are we, every day, manifesting our own reality?  Through thought and intention are we creating our experiences and our life on this planet?  If that is the case then reality is much more peculiar than we imagined.  Perhaps everything we see and experience is the product of our consciousness, or better yet, collective will.  Perhaps we do create, as we are born in the likeness of, as many religions state, our father.  I had an experience that caused me to look deeper into reality, seeing the obvious that was always there trying to reveal itself.

As I said in my last post, I had the opportunity to go on a nature trip on which I saw the most magnificent forms of nature this planet has to offer.  Before I went on the trip I researched it, coming across countless pictures of the area that I was to visit.  One picture held my attention.  It was the picture of a waterfall, and the paved path that led to it, giving the hiker an astounding view.  I was in awe of this picture hoping to someday stand on that path and feel the spray of the water.  I would walk on my treadmill for 30 minutes every day anticipating the hike to the waterfall and picturing it in my mind.  As I pictured it, a particular song would come into queue on my headphones lulling me into the cascading water, the picture taking on a kind of life.  I thought of being happy and with my family as we walked the path.

A month passed and we were finally on our way.  I didn’t know the name of the water fall I had pictured, nor did I know the name of the one I was beginning my hike to.  It turns out we hiked up the back road through a forested area that ended with the falls.  They were two tiered, emerging first from high in the cliff then again from a lower point.  It was spectacular.  After viewing them for some time, we descended the front trail taking us to a paved path leading away from the falls.  My headphones on, they began playing the song.  It was then I turned.  I stood exactly where I had imagined on the treadmill a month ago, the song lulling me into the spectacular cascading view I longed for.  I was there, with my family, happy and laughing.

Did I manifest this reality?  One could say, of course. You planned the trip and made it possible. However, it wasn’t that easy.  Many events took place prior to the trip that belied my going.  My choice to go despite what appeared insurmountable made the trip possible.  I chose to see myself and my family there.  As one of my favorite songs says “ it was made for you”.

English: The Antennae Galaxies in Collision, H...

What if it’s all made for us?  What if we manifest all that we experience and see, that nothing exists without our conscious observation?  Many a guru has alluded to this and so does quantum physics.  What if together, as a collective consciousness, we made that waterfall or perhaps perpetuated it based on the initial conscious viewers perspective?  If this is true, then the world does not have to be as it is now. We do not have to be victims of a world outside of us, for we can change at any time what we see.  The media, then, is a strong tool.

I stepped outside of myself for a moment, and saw something miraculous.  I stood there at the base of the waterfall and sensed that I had somehow created it.  My perspective, intention, and choice working together to create that moment.  What other things in my life could I create, or have created?  We are more than what we think we are.  We are more than outsiders to this reality.  We are more than reactionary beings responding to a world disconnected from us.  We are creators, very much a part of what we create.  A shudder struck my body as if a door opened, just a crack.  The song continued to play in my ear;

”…I can show you how many moves to checkmate, right now”

One Republic